Why Coming Out Is More Common Today Than in the Past—But Still Comes with Challenges

An LGBTQI+ & Life Blog

While Pride is celebrated at different times for different countries, states and communities, this is to reflect on the evolving landscape of LGBTQ+ visibility and acceptance in the United States in advance of the official U.S. Pride Month of June. While coming out has become more common in recent years, it remains a complex and deeply personal journey, often fraught with challenges. This article explores the factors contributing to the increased prevalence of coming out, as well as the persistent obstacles that many individuals continue to face.

Coming Out, Standing Proud

June is Pride Month in the U.S., and more people than ever are coming out and living openly. But the journey still carries risks. Learn why LGBTQ+ visibility is rising—and why safe spaces still matter.

 The Rise in Coming Out: A Cultural Shift

Over the past two decades, there has been a significant increase in the number of individuals openly identifying as LGBTQ+. According to a 2025 Gallup poll, 9.3% of U.S. adults identify as LGBTQ+, up from 3.5% in 2012. This rise is particularly notable among younger generations, with nearly 25% of Gen Z adults identifying as LGBTQ+, compared to 15% of millennials.

 This trend is mirrored in online behavior. A study by the Cultural Currents Institute found that Google searches for phrases like "Am I gay?" and "How to come out" have surged cumulatively by over 1,300% since 2004. This data suggests that more individuals are exploring their identities and seeking information and support online, reflecting a broader cultural shift toward openness and self-discovery.

 Factors Facilitating Increased Visibility

Several factors have contributed to the increased prevalence of coming out:

 -Greater Social Acceptance: Public opinion has become more accepting of LGBTQ+ individuals. A Pew Research Center survey found that 72% of Americans believe homosexuality should be accepted by society, up from 49% in 2007.

- Representation in Media: The presence of LGBTQ+ characters and stories in television, film, and literature has provided visibility and validation, encouraging individuals to embrace their identities.

- Supportive Online Communities: Social media platforms and online forums offer spaces for individuals to connect, share experiences, and find support, making the process of coming out less isolating.

- Educational Resources: Organizations like the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) provide comprehensive resources to assist individuals in the coming out process, addressing various aspects such as workplace dynamics and family relationships.

 Persistent Challenges and Barriers

Despite these positive developments, coming out remains a challenging experience for many:

 - Discrimination and Stigma: LGBTQ+ individuals often face discrimination in various aspects of life, including employment, housing, and healthcare. Transgender and non-binary individuals, in particular, encounter significant barriers and biases.

- Mental Health Concerns: The stress associated with coming out and potential rejection can lead to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. The HRC's 2022 Youth Survey revealed that LGBTQ+ youth continue to face serious challenges regarding acceptance and mental well-being.

- Legislative Hurdles: In recent years, there has been a surge in legislation targeting LGBTQ+ rights. In 2023 alone, over 550 anti-LGBTQ+ bills were introduced across the United States, many of which specifically targeted transgender and non-binary individuals.

- Intersectional Challenges: Individuals who belong to multiple marginalized groups—such as LGBTQ+ people of color—often face compounded discrimination, making the coming out process even more complex.

 Moving Forward: Creating Inclusive Environments

To support individuals in their journey of self-discovery and coming out, it's essential to foster inclusive and accepting environments:

 - Education and Awareness: Implementing comprehensive education on LGBTQ+ issues in schools and workplaces can promote understanding and reduce stigma.

- Policy Advocacy: Supporting policies that protect LGBTQ+ rights and oppose discriminatory legislation is crucial in creating a safer society for all.

- Community Support: Building strong, supportive communities—both online and offline—can provide individuals with the resources and encouragement they need.

- Mental Health Services: Ensuring access to mental health services that are inclusive and affirming of LGBTQ+ identities can help address the unique challenges faced by this community.

As we celebrate Pride Month, it's important to acknowledge both the progress made and the work that remains. By continuing to promote acceptance, understanding, and equality, we can create a society where everyone feels empowered to live authentically.

Let this Pride season also be a reminder to connect.

Unboxed Voices is a safe and inviting space for all identities. Join us in telling real stories, sharing helpful resources, and making room for every voice to be heard.

References:

Cultural Currents Institute. (2023). "Am I gay?" and similar Google searches up over 1300%. https://www.culturalcurrents.institute/insights/lgbtq-identity

Human Rights Campaign. (n.d.). Coming out. https://www.hrc.org/resources/coming-out

Human Rights Campaign. (2023). 2023 LGBTQ+ Youth Report. https://www.hrc.org/resources/lgbtq-youth-report

Human Rights Campaign. (n.d.). Coming Out Collection. https://www.hrc.org/resources/collections/coming-out-collection

Pew Research Center. (2020). Global divide on homosexuality persists. https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2020/06/25/global-divide-on-homosexuality-persists

Pew Research Center. (2022). The experiences, challenges and hopes of transgender and nonbinary U.S. adults. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/06/07/the-experiences-challenges-and-hopes-of-transgender-and-nonbinary-u-s-adults/

Pew Research Center. (2023). 5 key findings about LGBTQ+ Americans. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/06/23/5-key-findings-about-lgbtq-americans/

The Guardian. (2024, January 30). LGBTQ+ advocacy group records 2023 as 'most damaging and destructive' year. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/jan/30/anti-lgbt-rights-laws-kids-2023

Recognizing When Anxiety Is Influencing Our Day-to-Day Choices

Mental Health & Wellbeing

Anxiety can feel like an invisible thread pulling at the corners of your peace, tightening without warning, leaving you breathless and overwhelmed. For many, it’s not just a passing moment of nervousness before a big presentation or an upcoming life change—it’s a chronic, persistent experience that shapes thoughts, behavior, and emotional responses day after day.

But recognizing anxiety for what it is isn’t always easy—especially when it’s become part of your daily routine.

You might just think you’re "tired.”

But recognizing anxiety for what it is isn’t always easy—especially when it’s become part of your daily routine.

You might just think you’re "tired," or that you're "overthinking like usual." You might tell yourself you're just being “extra cautious,” not realizing those everyday decisions—canceling plans, checking the locks one more time, feeling tension in your chest at small requests—are all being influenced by something deeper.

This article isn’t about fixing anxiety overnight. It’s about beginning to recognize it—gently, curiously, and without shame. Because naming what we experience is the first step to reclaiming how we respond.

Anxiety Can Live in the Background of Your Day

Not all anxiety looks like a panic attack. Sometimes, it looks like:
- Saying “yes” to something you didn’t want to do—just to avoid conflict
- Mentally rehearsing a conversation twenty times before making a simple call
- Feeling exhausted by noon even if you got a full night’s sleep
- Avoiding new experiences because the "what ifs" are too loud
- Replaying mistakes or awkward moments over and over in your head

These small but powerful moments often go unnoticed because they’ve become part of how we cope. But coping is not the same as healing—and not all coping strategies serve us well in the long run.

So, how do you know when anxiety is the one behind the wheel?

What Anxiety Really Looks Like

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR), anxiety disorders are characterized by excessive fear, anxiety, and related behavioral disturbances. Common symptoms include:
- Persistent worry that is difficult to control
- Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge
- Fatigue
- Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank
- Irritability
- Muscle tension
- Sleep disturbances, including trouble falling or staying asleep

These symptoms, when they show up more days than not for six months or longer and interfere with your life, could point to a condition like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). However, anxiety can also show up in other forms—panic attacks, social phobias, obsessive thought loops, or specific fears.

It’s important to note that even without a formal diagnosis, these experiences are valid. They’re real. And they deserve attention.

Where Anxiety Comes From: More Than Just the Moment

But anxiety is rarely just about what’s happening in the moment. Often, it’s about what has happened—and how those experiences were internalized over time.

Understanding the Roots: Trauma and the Nervous System

Many people who live with chronic anxiety are also carrying the weight of unprocessed trauma. Whether it stems from childhood neglect, family dysfunction, community violence, racism, betrayal, abandonment, or other lived experiences, trauma leaves imprints—not just on memory, but on the body and nervous system.

When your body has been conditioned to expect danger, even peace can feel unsafe. That’s because trauma trains the brain to stay in a heightened state of alertness, constantly scanning for threats. Over time, the line between “real danger” and “perceived risk” blurs. A simple disagreement, a missed text message, or a crowded room can trigger the same physiological alarm bells as a genuinely threatening event.

For many, worry and anxiety are protective mechanisms developed in childhood or early adulthood. They are the brain’s way of saying, “If I just stay alert, I can prevent harm.” But while this hypervigilance may have helped you survive the past, it’s not helping you thrive in the present.

What You Can Begin Doing Today

If you’re reading this and nodding along—or if you’re realizing for the first time that some of your behaviors might be anxiety-driven—take a breath. This isn’t about rushing to change everything. It’s about starting somewhere.

➤ Start with Journaling

Begin with a short, daily journaling routine. Even five minutes a day is enough. Ask yourself:
- When did I feel most anxious today?
- What triggered that feeling?
- Did I respond or did I react?
- What did I need in that moment?

Journaling helps you slow down and notice patterns. Over time, it becomes easier to see when anxiety is speaking—and when it’s time for you to speak back.

Need a little inspiration to get started? Explore the reflective journals by Carol Dee, available on the Unboxed Voices Resource page. Each one is created to support your healing and help your voice unfold gently over time.

Challenge: Start your journal with today’s date and write, “Today, I noticed anxiety showed up when…” Keep it going for a week. No judgment, no pressure. Just awareness.

➤ Follow This Series

This blog is part of an ongoing conversation. We’ll continue exploring how anxiety affects our routines, relationships, work, and health—and more importantly, how to manage it with practical tools.

Next up: How Daily Habits Can Help You Regulate Anxiety Without Overwhelm.

Follow the blog or subscribe to stay informed. Healing is a journey—and you don’t have to take it alone.

➤ Seek Help If You’re Overwhelmed

If anxiety is interfering with your sleep, causing panic attacks, affecting your relationships, or making daily tasks feel impossible—it’s time to seek professional help. Therapists trained in trauma and anxiety can help you unpack these experiences and build skills to manage them.

Therapy isn’t about fixing you. It’s about freeing you.

Support is out there, and you're not alone. We’ll be sharing a featured list of inclusive, affirming counseling services on the blog soon. Until then, check your local directories or ask your primary care provider for help finding a mental health professional who aligns with your values.

You deserve support that feels safe, accessible, and affirming.

Let’s Be Gentle with Ourselves

Anxiety is not a sign of weakness. It is often the residue of having survived hard things. And while those survival strategies served a purpose, it’s okay to outgrow them now.

You don’t have to be fearless to begin healing. You just have to be willing.

One journal entry. 
One breath. 
One shift in awareness. 
That’s enough for today.

Work, Life, Balance: Are We Starving Our Souls?

(A Real Talk, Raw Reflections Blog Post)

The Race We Didn’t Ask to Join

We live in a world that never slows down. Life moves so fast, it’s hard to sit still long enough to enjoy a real meal—let alone share one with others. Yet no matter how much technology advances or how fast society moves, the core of human need remains the same. We all need air to breathe, food to eat, shelter for protection, and a place to rest. But if we stop there—if we only chase the needs that keep the body alive—what happens to the parts of us that make life worth living?

In today’s hustle, it seems that what often gets forgotten are the things that don’t come on a plate, don't hang in a closet, and don't sit neatly inside a house.

The Neglected Needs: Beyond Survival

Imagine if the world shifted focus—not just to survival, but to wholeness.
-Emotional wholeness.
- Psychological wholeness.
-Spiritual wholeness.
-Financial wholeness.
-Social and cultural wholeness.

If “wholeness” feels too out of reach, swap it for “well-being.”

The truth is the same: we were created to thrive, not just to survive.

I’m reminded of the quote often attributed to Mahatma Gandhi: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
It sounds simple. But when you really sit with it, the message is loud:

Take care of yourself in a way that others can feel it—and maybe even seek it for themselves.

Microwave Living: A Recipe for Burnout

But instead of wholeness, we’ve supported an era of microwave living—
Quick, fast, and in a hurry.

It reminds me of how some people insist on eating their food scorching hot. They can’t wait for it to cool, so they swoosh it around in their mouths, burning their tongues and the softest parts of themselves... all for a moment’s satisfaction. It’s such a clear metaphor for how we live:

Fast. Reckless. Self-burning.

When you rush through nourishment—whether it’s a meal or a moment—you often end up hurting yourself more than helping yourself. Who really chooses to get burned over and over again just for a fleeting moment of “flavor”? It feels like a dangerous mindset: one that tolerates pain, celebrates toughness, and even glorifies suffering. At worst, it mirrors the same distorted logic that underpins self-sabotage, bullying, and emotional neglect.

When Survival Isn’t Enough

If we only chase air, food, shelter, and sleep, we miss the deeper needs that sustain our humanity:
- Meaningful connection
- Belonging
- Emotional safety
- Rest—not just for the body, but for the spirit

And when these needs are neglected long enough, the cracks show up everywhere:
-In our relationships.
- In our mental health.
- In our sense of self.

It’s no wonder we look around and ask ourselves, “How did we get here?” It didn’t happen overnight. It happened because we started treating life like a checklist instead of a journey.

Small Acts, Deep Healing

Consider this, when was the last time you gave or received a heartfelt compliment? A real hug—not a pat on the back, but a lingering embrace that said “I see you” without words? These small acts matter more than we realize. They feed the parts of us that a paycheck, a new car, or another checked-off to-do list never will. Restoring balance doesn’t require a revolution. Sometimes, it just starts with remembering that we are more than what we produce.

Choose Living Over Surviving

We weren’t made just to survive—we were made to live. And living requires more than fast food, fast money, or fast solutions. It requires slowing down long enough to nourish the parts of ourselves that the world forgets to mention. Let’s stop swooshing the burning food of life around in our mouths just to say we tasted something. Let’s let it cool, savor it, and be made whole again.

When Healing Isn’t Linear — It’s Ancestral Disruption

What do you do when everything you’ve been taught… starts to unravel?

When you realize the lessons weren’t passed down with wisdom — but with wounds. That much of what you inherited wasn’t knowledge at all, but survival strategies in disguise. Beautifully packaged desperation passed from one generation to the next like heirlooms no one asked for.

This is what it feels like to live at the intersection of past and future — carrying the stories absorbed from 'before,' and holding the responsibility of 'what now.' It is emotional residue born from cognitive and emotional overload — but also a sign that you are searching, wrestling, and intellectually awake in the midst of that weight.

You're not just questioning your path. You're confronting the crumbling of generational beliefs — what was taught, internalized, and unknowingly passed down. And there’s a deep grief that comes with that realization: that what shaped us was built on survival, not truth; reaction, not tradition; adaptation, not stability.

And what do you do when you realize there wasn’t even a pattern to begin with? Just reactions to isolated moments. No footsteps walked in the same soil. No road that anyone followed for more than a few steps before it disappeared again. So the idea of 'breaking the cycle' — what if there never really was one?

It’s disorienting. Because you want to heal. But how do you heal something you can’t trace? How do you fix a legacy written in invisible ink?

There’s a term for what I was feeling: fractured perception. The realization that you’ve been viewing the world through a cracked lens — one that distorts your sense of what’s real, what’s yours, what’s worthy. It’s not a breakdown. It’s an awakening. But awakening can look and feel a lot like collapse.

I described it once like an onion. The self, layered — some parts dirty and fibrous, others bendable but hard to digest. And in between the layers? A membrane. Filmy. Present. Hard to chew, but impossible to ignore. That membrane is grief, I think. The grief of reckoning. Of realizing that even if the layers are yours, you didn’t put them there.

This isn’t a how-to. I don’t have answers. But maybe that’s the point.

Maybe healing isn’t a clean slate — maybe it’s sitting in the murk long enough to recognize what you’ve been carrying, and then asking yourself: Do I still want this?

That’s where I found myself — though not for the first time. In my personal journey, I’ve visited this space more than once.

The practice of self-assessment with the intention of healing and growth isn’t a one-time event — especially when the rivers run deep and the layers of that onion are plentiful and thick. These moments return, often quietly, sometimes urgently, reminding us that healing is not a destination. It’s a practice.

Sometimes the first step in healing is realizing the script you were given wasn’t rooted in truth. That doesn’t make you broken. That makes you brave.

If this reflection speaks to you — if you’ve ever felt like your healing journey was more about unlearning than rebuilding — you’re not alone. Let’s name it. Let’s sit with it. Let’s rise slowly, together.

Boxed In by Good Intentions

I remember Bill — a friend of my father’s, well into his sixties, and a preacher like my dad. I was in my early twenties, a single mother of two, living at home, and figuring out how to balance survival with ambition. We were sitting at the table one afternoon, talking about life, family, and the economy. I was working at a bank, fresh from a short financial course, and I was starting to think about the kind of future I wanted to build — one rooted in service and creativity.

Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, Bill looked at me and said, plain as day: “You should be a nurse or a schoolteacher.” Just like that. No questions asked. Not because I had ever expressed interest in either. Not because I showed some talent for the work. Just... because.

I remember feeling something twist in my gut. Not because there’s anything wrong with nursing or teaching — they’re powerful, life-changing professions. But that wasn’t me. I’d been fascinated by technology and drawn to human behavior since junior high. Social work and tech had my heart. So why was the expectation so narrow?

Bill didn’t mean harm. In fact, he probably thought he was offering encouragement. But that’s the thing about bias: it rarely shows up in cruelty. More often, it hides in suggestions. In expectations. In traditions. And for young women like me — single, unmarried, ambitious — those suggestions can be suffocating. They shrink your sense of possibility before it ever has room to breathe.

To be fair, my parents weren’t thrilled about my interest in technology either. They thought it was a passing trend, a risky investment. But I saw it differently. I saw potential. Innovation. Change. And I wanted to be a part of it. That desire — to chase something outside the expected — came with resistance from all sides. But it also taught me something about how identity shapes opportunity.

That conversation with Bill wasn’t the last time I’d be boxed in by assumptions. But it was one of the first times I noticed the box forming around me — and decided I wasn’t going to live inside it.

We talk a lot about DEI as policy and training. But it’s also moments like that — subtle, generational, cultural — where someone else’s view of who you should be threatens to overshadow who you could be.

If you’ve ever been guided toward a path that didn’t feel like your own — not because of skill, but because of someone’s comfort — you’re not alone. Let’s name the boxes, so we can build something better beyond them.

DEI work doesn’t always happen in boardrooms — sometimes it starts at the dinner table. If you’ve ever had to push back on someone’s assumptions of who you’re supposed to be, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about it.