Recognizing When Anxiety Is Influencing Our Day-to-Day Choices

Mental Health & Wellbeing

Anxiety can feel like an invisible thread pulling at the corners of your peace, tightening without warning, leaving you breathless and overwhelmed. For many, it’s not just a passing moment of nervousness before a big presentation or an upcoming life change—it’s a chronic, persistent experience that shapes thoughts, behavior, and emotional responses day after day.

But recognizing anxiety for what it is isn’t always easy—especially when it’s become part of your daily routine.

You might just think you’re "tired.”

But recognizing anxiety for what it is isn’t always easy—especially when it’s become part of your daily routine.

You might just think you’re "tired," or that you're "overthinking like usual." You might tell yourself you're just being “extra cautious,” not realizing those everyday decisions—canceling plans, checking the locks one more time, feeling tension in your chest at small requests—are all being influenced by something deeper.

This article isn’t about fixing anxiety overnight. It’s about beginning to recognize it—gently, curiously, and without shame. Because naming what we experience is the first step to reclaiming how we respond.

Anxiety Can Live in the Background of Your Day

Not all anxiety looks like a panic attack. Sometimes, it looks like:
- Saying “yes” to something you didn’t want to do—just to avoid conflict
- Mentally rehearsing a conversation twenty times before making a simple call
- Feeling exhausted by noon even if you got a full night’s sleep
- Avoiding new experiences because the "what ifs" are too loud
- Replaying mistakes or awkward moments over and over in your head

These small but powerful moments often go unnoticed because they’ve become part of how we cope. But coping is not the same as healing—and not all coping strategies serve us well in the long run.

So, how do you know when anxiety is the one behind the wheel?

What Anxiety Really Looks Like

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR), anxiety disorders are characterized by excessive fear, anxiety, and related behavioral disturbances. Common symptoms include:
- Persistent worry that is difficult to control
- Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge
- Fatigue
- Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank
- Irritability
- Muscle tension
- Sleep disturbances, including trouble falling or staying asleep

These symptoms, when they show up more days than not for six months or longer and interfere with your life, could point to a condition like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). However, anxiety can also show up in other forms—panic attacks, social phobias, obsessive thought loops, or specific fears.

It’s important to note that even without a formal diagnosis, these experiences are valid. They’re real. And they deserve attention.

Where Anxiety Comes From: More Than Just the Moment

But anxiety is rarely just about what’s happening in the moment. Often, it’s about what has happened—and how those experiences were internalized over time.

Understanding the Roots: Trauma and the Nervous System

Many people who live with chronic anxiety are also carrying the weight of unprocessed trauma. Whether it stems from childhood neglect, family dysfunction, community violence, racism, betrayal, abandonment, or other lived experiences, trauma leaves imprints—not just on memory, but on the body and nervous system.

When your body has been conditioned to expect danger, even peace can feel unsafe. That’s because trauma trains the brain to stay in a heightened state of alertness, constantly scanning for threats. Over time, the line between “real danger” and “perceived risk” blurs. A simple disagreement, a missed text message, or a crowded room can trigger the same physiological alarm bells as a genuinely threatening event.

For many, worry and anxiety are protective mechanisms developed in childhood or early adulthood. They are the brain’s way of saying, “If I just stay alert, I can prevent harm.” But while this hypervigilance may have helped you survive the past, it’s not helping you thrive in the present.

What You Can Begin Doing Today

If you’re reading this and nodding along—or if you’re realizing for the first time that some of your behaviors might be anxiety-driven—take a breath. This isn’t about rushing to change everything. It’s about starting somewhere.

➤ Start with Journaling

Begin with a short, daily journaling routine. Even five minutes a day is enough. Ask yourself:
- When did I feel most anxious today?
- What triggered that feeling?
- Did I respond or did I react?
- What did I need in that moment?

Journaling helps you slow down and notice patterns. Over time, it becomes easier to see when anxiety is speaking—and when it’s time for you to speak back.

Need a little inspiration to get started? Explore the reflective journals by Carol Dee, available on the Unboxed Voices Resource page. Each one is created to support your healing and help your voice unfold gently over time.

Challenge: Start your journal with today’s date and write, “Today, I noticed anxiety showed up when…” Keep it going for a week. No judgment, no pressure. Just awareness.

➤ Follow This Series

This blog is part of an ongoing conversation. We’ll continue exploring how anxiety affects our routines, relationships, work, and health—and more importantly, how to manage it with practical tools.

Next up: How Daily Habits Can Help You Regulate Anxiety Without Overwhelm.

Follow the blog or subscribe to stay informed. Healing is a journey—and you don’t have to take it alone.

➤ Seek Help If You’re Overwhelmed

If anxiety is interfering with your sleep, causing panic attacks, affecting your relationships, or making daily tasks feel impossible—it’s time to seek professional help. Therapists trained in trauma and anxiety can help you unpack these experiences and build skills to manage them.

Therapy isn’t about fixing you. It’s about freeing you.

Support is out there, and you're not alone. We’ll be sharing a featured list of inclusive, affirming counseling services on the blog soon. Until then, check your local directories or ask your primary care provider for help finding a mental health professional who aligns with your values.

You deserve support that feels safe, accessible, and affirming.

Let’s Be Gentle with Ourselves

Anxiety is not a sign of weakness. It is often the residue of having survived hard things. And while those survival strategies served a purpose, it’s okay to outgrow them now.

You don’t have to be fearless to begin healing. You just have to be willing.

One journal entry. 
One breath. 
One shift in awareness. 
That’s enough for today.